James Carville uttered famous words in a past election about the economy and I have learned that now we are held hostage by our vast and complex communications processes.  

Recently we had a wireless dish put in to increase the speed that the computers work at and make communications virtually instantaneous. But the best laid plans sometimes go awry. Seems that ours was the one that lightning chose to hit and fry all those expensive components.  

Without the relay we were effectively cut off from the world, seems that all business processes now work through the cloud which now sends our information to its intended destination. So my nightmare starts with learning that the cloud does not talk to just anyone. No… you have to be a qualified cloud speaker and with credentials to address the cloud.  

Well, for us it was hurry up and wait, seems that the components that were needed are only made by a technician in North Korea with security clearance that can only be approved by someone in Black Water. I have to admit that I have never believed in the Men in Black until a visit from two tall gentlemen who never turned their heads to address anyone. “You the guy who had an electric strike to the modulus 45XPL 20?”  “Yes I am,” I answered. “Have you experienced any blackouts or moments of lost history?” “Gosh,” I said, “There was that week in Mexico that is quite fuzzy, and high school graduation was also lost”.  

“Do you hear strange noises or experience any times that you feel out of body?” I thought long and hard on this one, as now was not the time to tell these guys about my Bigfoot experience, so I just let this question go by. “No, not that I can recall,” I answered.  

“Tell us if you ever have premonitions about the future or have the ability to visit the past.” Now I have my interest peaked, as I now tell them about my re-occurring dream about winning the lottery if only the numbers could be decreased to one number. The shorter of the tall men adjusts his Oakley sunglasses and nods. The other one wearing the same sunglasses asks about the past. I now adjust my sunglasses, a 1974 pair of Ray Bans just like the ones that Cruise wore in Top Gun except scratched and with the frames super glued in a few spots.  

“Look dude, I am a golf pro and I relive every day I have played, I look at every wasted shot and the outcome that happened. It all boils back to an 8 foot left to right downhill at New Mexico State when I was trying to qualify for my first real college tournament. As that putt slid low and short, my entire outlook for golf was put on a defensive posture.” They glanced at each other and one guy took out a shiny chrome cigar holder and flashed a light.

I played after the experience and made every putt I looked at, left to right. Right to left uphill, downhill…fast slow it did not matter. The hole size increased to something that could not be missed. I now look at the wireless dish and seem to have some odd recall…that for some reason that dish is now the start to my new putting success.

Tom Velarde is the Manager at Black Mesa Golf Club in Espanola, New Mexico, just northwest of Santa Fe. For more information or to reach Tom, email tvelarde@blackmesagolfclub.com.