After a day of working the shop and giving lessons, a normal afternoon involves my bride and I having that late dinner talking about the day and playing with our pups. Roxie is a Bichon Frise and a ball of constant energy and Putter, my Dachshund, is 11 and like me loves a warm spot to just watch. Well on this day, arriving home, both pups greet me at the door which is normal and both immediately ran into the den excited. 

I follow them in and they both are staring at long slim boxes in the room…very out of place. I know these boxes contain my new clubs from TaylorMade. Now my bride knows me well enough to have dinner quick and easy and she also knows that small talk most likely will not happen. To those of you who have years of marriage, this translates into burgers, a salad and iced tea. I know that if I eat that salad and cut the burger into thirds both pups will have an unexpected treat and I can open those boxes. Roxie and Putter sit not making noise as to alert anyone what is coming. When given their share of the spoils, the evidence quickly disappears. After loading the dishwasher, I can move on to the boxes. Yes, I am not a savage, I can load the dishwasher…my permit is limited to three items though. 

The boxes contain a M5 driver with tour ADX shaft (I say tour because it was on the packing slip and those are always the holy grail of information). The irons are the M5 with graphite shafts. My bride and I both unpack each club (if you ever get clubs in the mail from a major manufacturer you will note that they wrap each iron separate and put shrink wrap around the head. I believe the Armed Forces should use shrink wrap as a deterrent as it takes me a couple minutes for each club to get the stuff off. 

After all is unpacked and inspected, my bride looks at me and asks if that was all of the order. Years of experience sent the early warning systems into full shield mode, and the pups running behind the chairs further affirmed the possibility of something bad on the horizon. My savvy quick thinking spilled out and I said, “No, the rest if backordered”. “Would those be my new clubs,” she asked? “Well, yea of course they are yours. I will check on the order tomorrow.” 

Later that night she goes to bed and gives the pups a treat, I overhear her as she talks to them. See, that is how I get new clubs and don’t you guys let him know how this all works. I can see both tails wagging in glee as they get another dog treat.  

Next morning, on my way into work, I order the clubs. I also make reservations at a winter destination at Hilton Head for a 6-day golf trip for both of us. Having new sticks is pointless unless you use them, so for me it’s a win–win. 

On my way home tonight, I will have to stop by the butcher and get those pups some proper chew materials. They may obey my bride, but they work for me. If you need help with a plan on how to explain getting new clubs give me a call, I have ample experience.

See you on the first tee…take the shrink wrap off.  

Tom Velarde is a Golf Professional at Black Mesa Golf Club in Espanola, New Mexico, just northwest of Santa Fe. For more information or to reach Tom, email tvelarde@blackmesagolfclub.com.